Should you date when going through a divorce?

Many people have made peace that their marriage is ending before the divorce process ever begins. There are many reasons for this including disappointment, adultery, emotional abuse, domestic violence, a generally unhappy marriage or a host of other reasons. While everyone deserves a happy, love-filled marriage, unfortunately, every marriage is not like that.

The divorce process can take anywhere from 61 days to several years in Texas, depending on the parties and issues involved. It can be incredibly frustrating feeling like your life is frozen while you are going through a divorce, especially if you’ve known for some time that the marriage is over. Regardless, it is not a good idea to begin a new relationship before finalizing a divorce.

Remember, you are still married until the final decree of divorce is entered and signed by the Judge. Emotions are high when a divorce is pending. Both parties are usually very guarded and should be on their best behavior. Starting a new relationship can be a risky move while you are still technically married and is generally not a good idea. For one, an otherwise amicable divorce may become much more contested if your spouse finds out you’ve already moved on.

Dating during a divorce may impact the final determination of custody in your case as well, especially if you have allowed your new romantic interest to be around your children. If you are dating, that person will be around your children at some point. If that person has a criminal record or other issues in their background, the court may consider that when determining who should have primary custody of your children. The court will focus on the best interest of your children and may find that certain behaviors of one parent are simply not in the best interest of the children. The court will then order custody and possession accordingly.

If you begin a new relationship during divorce, your spouse may choose to file adultery grounds. This is even more likely if you began seeing that person before divorce was filed. Your spouse can feel that adds insult to injury or is a slap in the face. A finding of adultery in a Texas divorce means that it will be on record that the divorce was the adulterer’s fault instead of the tamer “no-fault” ground. If the court finds that you committed adultery, your spouse may receive more of the community property as a result.

While divorce is a difficult process to navigate, it is important to remember that patience is a virtue. Give your divorce the attention it needs and, once it has been finalized, you can get the attention you deserve. Treat yourself, spend quality time with your kids. When you truly feel ready, after the divorce is final, you may decide to date again.  If you are going to date during your divorce, keep the new person away from your children, keep all information about the new relationship to yourself, and keep everything about the new relationship off social media.

Blog post by Soheyla Dixon

Divorce

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